Star Trek - Into Darkness

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Star Trek is one of those TV programmes that I'm always happy to watch, while fully understanding that it's rubbish. Well, not complete rubbish: the central trio of characters has a kind of mythic resonance, with Spock the man of reason, McCoy the man of feeling, and Kirk the man of action who has to take advice from each of them before going out and punching people.  And while the show's well-meaning liberalism may seem half hearted to modern eyes - Lt Uhuru as space-receptionist etc - it was well-meaning and liberal for all that.  (In all the pop culture I experienced as a child, I think George Takei was the only Japanese man I ever saw who wasn't running out of the jungle with a gun, screaming, "Banzai!")



Anyway, off we all went to Paignton  yesterday to see the latest big-screen version, Star Trek - Into Darkness.

For some reason, while Star Trek the telly programme was about visiting strange new worlds and having adventures there, Star Trek movies are almost always about a mad villain who is trying to destroy the earth/take over the Universe, and has to be hit until he stops. This one is no exception. It starts off in a cheerfully neo-colonialist, Indiana Jones-ish way with Kirk and co escaping from alien tribespeople in a startling red landscape, but that storyline ends before the main title. It isn't long before the the mad villain appears, played rather engagingly by that Benedict Cucumberpatch out of Sherlock, and the colour almost literally drains out of the movie: in the future, it seems, everything will be grey. (Star Trek - Fifty Shades of Grey would have been a better title, if it hadn't already been taken.)


The cast are all pretty good: I particularly like Karl Urban's peppery Dr McCoy, and Simon Pegg is fun as Scottie. There are lots of shiny futuristic cityscapes, a lovely bleak planetoid where great wind-sculpted rock towers rear up out of a flat plain of shale, and the costumes and sets look cool and contemporary while affectionately referencing the old stuff (though the grey dress uniforms with the peaked caps look creepily fascist). Of course,  no Star Trek ship, on TV or in the cinema, has ever equalled the original Enterprise, a real '60s design classic, and this one doesn't either - the prongs at the back aren't sleek enough.  But on the plus side, there's a tribble.

And yet, and yet, it all felt a bit meh.  In terms of plot and pacing it certainly isn't a patch on Star Trek 2 - The Wrath of Khan, which it references heavily.  "I thought we were supposed to be explorers?" says Scottie at one point, and so did I, but this is an oddly earthbound Star Trek. There's a quick trip to Kronos, planet of the Klingons, who were one of the best things about the later TV spin-offs, but have been woefully redesigned as dull, helmeted soldiers in grey greatcoats and grey body armour, more like First World War stormtroopers than the camp space-vikings of old. The focus is all on the evil Cumberbatch, and some shenanigans within Starfleet Command, so instead of pushing onwards and outwards, the story has to loop back to San Francisco for some collapsing skyscrapers and an explodey, punchy climax.

Right at the end Kirk gets to quote the 'To boldy go...' speech, and under the closing credits the old Star Trek music plays and the screen fills with vistas of the far, strange worlds and alien suns which the movie could have taken us to, but I guess that might have been too much fun.  Because, weirdly, I think this is a Star Trek movie that wants to be taken seriously...


I suppose it probably says something about the mood of the 1960s - optimistic, outward looking - and the mood of the 2010s - insular, pessimistic, obsessed with terrorism, and keen on grey stuff. Maybe it also reflects the rise of 'geek culture' - things like Star Trek and Batman which used to be enjoyable fluff are now presented as if they're profound and important works of art (there's a good, long piece about that trend, by someone cleverer than me, here). That's not quite fair, because there is fun stuff in this film, but it's almost all in the interactions between the characters and in a couple of action scenes - there's precious little allowed in the plot or the world-building.

All I can say for sure is that this is the sort of film in which the captain discovers that he has 72 sociopathic super-humans asleep in cryogenic suspension tubes aboard his ship - and they never wake up.

Chekhov (the playwright, not the starship helmsman) would have had something to say about that.

Traction London by Kyran Samy

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I haven't written much about the Mortal Engines / Fever Crumb books here for a while, but it's good to see that they are still inspiring illustrators and model-makers on the internet. There are a couple of recent examples I've been meaning to blog about, but this one is so impressive that it deserves a post all of it's own. Creator Kyran Samy writes:

I am a compulsive reader of Mortal Engines and its sequels. I couldn't resist the urge to build a model of London for my A level Product Design! It stands two feet high, weighs about 12 kilos and features moving arms to dismantle prey and an opening jaw. It's currently biding its time in my school library next to a display of your books. I hope you like it!

And I do!







 


All images by Kyran Samy.

The Trainee Goblins of Greengate

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Helo adoRing fAns thatts right itt is USS, the GObBlins of ClOVENSToNe, taking over thiss BOLG again to add a bitt of WITT and sophtiStikatoin stophistsicashun soffisti STUFF.  

Ther has been toO much talk about rubBish sofFtling DOCTER WHOO on heer recenTly and NOT ENUGH GObBLINS.

So three chairs cheEers foR MIss ElenOR Chetwynd-KnAgg at GreengaTe Junior scHkOOl in BarRow in CumbRia.  We is nott sure whAt a Junior Sckool is butt it looKs from the phfotos she has seNt as iff itt is a sort of JAOL or PRISSON where the sofFtlings keep their hatChlings locked up uNtil they iss old enugh to stopp bein so annoying. (Here at Clovenstone when hatchlings is annoying we just catapult them off the topp of the tower but thatt soLution does nott seem to hav ocCured to Miss ChetWynd-KnaGg perHaps shee is nott very bright. Or mayBe they does nott have any tall enugh towers in Barrow in Cumbria.)

Anyway, Miss Chetwynd-Knagg has deCided that the hAtchlings she is looKing after neEd proper ROLE MODDELS so she has frorced them to reed GOBbLINS, the well-known betstsellin brilliunt burk about  US. And she has made themm do stuFf called 'WORK' aboutt it.  

Heer is a bitt of their 'WORK' itt is a verry gOod likEness of King KnObBler cor istnt he handsOme? (The gloWy bitts are cos of the SUNN shinin out of his BotTom)


Heer is some more 'WORK'. Cann you thinK of woRds and Phfrases to describe gobblins? (Yes We cann: BRILLIUNT BRAVE FANTNASTIC aNd STRANGELELY ATTRACTIVE are amung the ones which spriNgg to mind...)



Here is some moar pictures an a load of leaves an bitts of oLd bumwipe with worms wriTten all over them dont ask uss what itt is all about...



An finaLly heer is a piCture which may be too DISTRUBING for reeders of a deLickate dispisishun for itt shoWs the sofFtling hatchlinggs at 'work' and as you cann see they are HIDEEUS (MisS Chetwynd-KnaGg has nott sent a pikture of herrself we expec she is even WORSE). Butt it is nice to sEe how haRd they is 'working' and to thiNk they is lerning how to be as TOUGH an COoL as GOBbLINS! (Hopefuly in the neXt lessen Miss C-K wilL get out the CLUBbS an BatTleaXes and they can all start walLopin each other.)



So THReE CHAIRS CHEEERS FOR GREENGATE JUNIOR SCHKOOL IN BARROW IN CUMBRIA aN ALL ITs HORRID HATCHLINGS! THe GOBbLINS of CLOVENSTONE SALoOT YOU!

PS: A Note On Punchtuation.  PrinceSs Ned read this and said we shOuld try puttin in some commas an apophstrophopes so heer they are '''''''''''''',,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Dr Who Video

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Here's a video I recorded at the Puffin offices a few weeks ago, in which I natter on a bit about my forthcoming Doctor Who Story. It also features a couple of nice clips of Tom Baker and Louise Jameson as the Doctor and Leela.




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